In this world of ours it has been decreed that there shall be both morning and non-morning people. It has also been decreed that too often the same type will try to hook up with each other. And this can be a very unfortunate thing. Seriously, who in your house is the early morning texter? Is it you? Are you quietly texting while someone is still sleeping next to you? Is someone next to you texting while you’re still trying to sleep?
In an effort to assist all of you unfortunate souls trying to deal with someone of the opposite type, I have assembled a list of attributes that can be used to try and understand the other.
The early-morning texter:
* Loves the glow of a screen early in the morning;
* Enjoys the chirping of birds as much as download a song;
* Likes an early cup of steaming hot coffee but can slam off 27 texts before the coffee maker warms up;
* TV? What TV?
* Likes being first to know what’s going on;
* Wants to be on the road before all of the traffic hits;
* Enjoys the friendship of other morning people standing in line for coffee as they text people;
* Has written 237 texts before getting to work or class;
* Uses any extra time to connect;
* Getting a joke from someone at 6am is good
*Breakfast is leftover pizza or just more coffee
The late-morning texter:
* Loves to see the sun at the crack of noon;
* Hates the sound of birds or any other thing before 10am;
* Loves a steaming cup of coffee after 9am;
* First text goes out mid-morning;
* Reads texts slowly;
* Hates traffic, but not enough to get up any earlier;
* Enjoys the friendship of other people in line at Starbuck’s after 10am and wants to talk to them. Seriously people?
* Likes a quiet neighborhood, but not at the expense of actually noticing it;
* Ignores the jokes of those obnoxious morning people;
* Loves the comfort of a warm bed long after it should have been made and leaves the phone on the table instead of sleeping with it;
* Eats brunch instead of breakfast…and reads a newspaper with it;
* Is able to shoot death rays out of their eyes at jovial individuals if that person chooses to be jovial before noon – even if it’s a 17-month-old baby;
* Figures it’s better to be married to an early-morning texter than live with cranky late-morning one.
I’m not sure why or how it was decided in this universe of ours that early-morning texters hook up with late-morning texters. Maybe it’s all a grand cosmic joke, maybe it’s something else, but it can make for interesting times.
One way or another, most households manage to make it – or not. It’s a fun world out there – especially when people are involved. Just don’t look for too much peace in the morning.