Yann Martel, in Life of Pi says, “All living things contain a measure of madness that moves them in strange, sometimes inexplicable ways.” If that’s the truth, then we’re all just a bit crazy, some of us obviously more than others.  So, the next question then is, How crazy are you?  We can design a non-scientific, ultra-casual, non-binding, non-everything test without any validity that will tell us just how crazy we are. Are you brave enough to take it?

Questions that may let you know how crazy you are

1. You decide to go on a diet while going through McDonald’s drive through – for the 12^th time this year

2. You think the government is out to get you (unless they are out to get you in which case you’re not crazy at all, just cautious…probably)

3. You think that ice cream is a health food

4. You think that hamburgers are good for you because they do, after all, contain protein

5. You drink 12 Diet Coke’s a day (never mind, this is me and I’m not crazy, really, I’m not, trust me)

6. You don’t just believe what politicians tell you in an election year, you want to believe it

7. You think that a ballpark is more important than a library

8. You will actually eat a cookie with ten ingredients in it, seven of which require scientific notation

9. You buy a one-year old car with a new paint job without considering it may have been in an accident

10. You keep going out with the kind of people your mother warned you about (and married)

11. You are really, really sure that the Centers for Disease Control is in league with big government to make people take vaccinations to make them zombies so the “combine” can control them

12. You think reading is a waste of time but will spend hours in front of a TV set watching reruns of old sit-coms

13. You watch the Cooking Channel while eating take-out double-stuffed pizza with extra pepperoni and sausage

14. You believe that exercise is bad for you because muscles weren’t made to work that hard in the 21^st century

15. You refuse to buy clothes in the correct size because if they’re too small it will be good incentive to lose all that weight you’ve been really, really wanting to lose for years

16. You think that having kids and pit bulls in the same house is a good idea

17. You work on your own car after destroying three of them

18. You work on your own computer

19. You keep switching cell phone companies and plans hoping to find the perfect one

20. You’re sure Elvis is still alive and hanging out in Area 51

21. Finally, the BIG one: you check your text messages, social media sites, IMs, email and more 300 times a day. You know, JUST IN CASE someone texted, emailed, or IM’d you

And there you have it, 21 definitive ways to help you determine if you’re crazy. You can score it yourself, in any way you like.  I thought about taking it myself (and since I wrote it I figured I had a pretty good chance of coming out okay).  But then I figured why push it, you know?