Trust me; I’m really, really, really not complaining, really. However, now that we’re on the subject…
Okay, let’s face it; there are certain things in this world that simply must be looked at. And you know what I’m talking about; they’re the kind of things that make you mumble to yourself, “What on earth was someone thinking?”
Examples? You want a few examples? No problem.
Example 1: Bright yellow cars. It’s just too “lemon-like.”
Example 2: Computers in multitudes of colors. Does your office look better with an orange computer?
Example 3: Houses painted in colors not made for houses. You’ve seen these houses; I saw another one the other day. Picture it: a blue house. No, I don’t mean a light blue house with contrasting trim. And no, I don’t mean a house trimmed in blue. I’m talking about an entire house painted the same shade of medium-dark blue. The entire house, window trim, doors, garage door, all of it the same. I still can’t understand why the neighbors didn’t commit various sorts of crimes against that house.
Let’s stop here a second just in case you’re thinking that today’s blog is actually griping about colors. No, this is about much more than colors, I simply had not arrived at that point yet. We’re there now…
Example 4: Fax machines in cars. “How did your husband die?”
“Oh, he was trying to fax in an order to a restaurant as he drove over to pick up the food. He hit another car driven by someone on their cell phone ordering concert tickets.”
Example 5: Talking on cell phones while driving. Now don’t misunderstand me, when we need them they’re great. I’m talking about the kind of conversation between people who talk to each other all the time anyway. “Hi there. I just wanted to say what a great time I had at lunch.”
“Oh, me too.”
“So, did you see what he/she was wearing?”
“Can you believe that she/he would wear that to work?”
“Not since she/he got caught by his/her wife/husband.”
“So, what are you doing this weekend?”
“Nothing, what about you?”
“Yeah. Oh well, see you later.”
“Yeah, see you later.”
You get the idea, I’m sure. And you’ve probably seen it or heard it as well. And if you are one of those people…..
I guess we’ll stop with those five examples. That’s a start, at least for today. No, no, no! Wait, there is one more, a big one.
Example 6: Junk mail. Simply that, junk mail whether email, attached to Facebook or other social media sites, snail-mail delivered to the mailbox, left on the front porch or sent home with kids.
Okay, that definitely is it for now. Seriously.
Who killed in anger
planned an ambush
created ways to torture
the very first time?
Who said the first word
kissed the first kiss
smiled the first smile
laughed the first laugh
the very first time?
Who was first?
Who first did the things
all the things that make us human
and less than human
and more than human
Who thought the first abstract thought?
created the steps to solving something that needed those steps
communicated those steps?
Where are the medals for the people whose eyes shown with that first spark?
The + – of the human race
Saw this story on Yahoo News: “The drummer with legendary rock band AC/DC, Phil Rudd, was accused Thursday of trying to hire a hitman to kill two men after police raided his luxury New Zealand home.” Wait, trying to hire a hitman? So how does someone hire a hitman anyway? Do you advertise? Do you check out Yelp, Angie’s List, craigslist, or the services offered section of local newspapers? Maybe you could go to seedy bars in rough neighborhoods and say to the bartender, “Pardon me, but you know where a bloke might be able to get in contact with a hitman?” You probably wouldn’t use that line unless you wanted to be the target at that very moment.
Maybe you put the word out on your social media sites. Let your Facebook Friends or blog and Instagram followers know. You could check out expertise with your Linkedin connections. Who knows? Obviously Rudd doesn’t. I want to end with something flip here. Something like, “freakin’ amateurs.” But the mind-boggling absurdity of the thing is just too much.