Hey kids, here’s a way to help Santa get you everything you want
Well, it’s that time and so here it is again, my gift column. I always like to do this column as a public service for busy parents.
This is, naturally, the time when many of you girls and boys around the planet (or solar system for all I know) make lists to give to Santa Claus. But with all that writing, texting, and emailing I began to wonder if there might be a way to simplify it. And there is; I have designed a list that you can use to make sure Santa gets you everything you desire. Feel free to clip it, scan it, email it, put under a pillow or any other way, and use it to your heart’s content. Or, just take a photo of it and upload it to your parent’s Facebook page.
Dear Santa, here is what I want for Christmas:
_____ gift cards
_____ PC and online games
_____ smart phone
_____ Amazon credit card
_____ plenty of “other”
Okay, okay. Please also bring something for my parents and brother (s) and/or sister (s). Bring them whatever they want. Are we done with that now?
Now, back to where I was: my list. Please bring me:
_____iTunes gift card
_____membership to a skateboard park
_____Treasury bills (this will make Nana happy ‘cause she keeps talking about college and all)
_____games for the above systems. Actually, just a really big gift card so I can get the games myself; Santa, you wouldn’t understand
_____a really, really, really big monitor to play all those games on (and extra game controllers)
_____iPod Touch (64 GB – seriously did you have to ask?)
_____professional video camera
_____boat (to go with the scuba gear)
Oh, did I mention that I wanted a new scooter? Well, it should be one of the electric Razor scooters, don’t give me one of those things I have to actually push. I’m surprised I have to tell you this Santa. Really.
And as far as the games go, don’t bring me any dorky, childish ones or an old version. I want cool games, the kind that cool people play on cool computers. Cool. Oh, and the computer that’s on the list? Power, Santa, it has to be fast and powerful. Don’t be stingy (I say that with deepest love and respect for everything you do, of course). Gotta keep up that cool image ‘cause I’m cool. Love ya, Santa!
Whoops, almost forgot. Also bring world peace. And an end to hunger. And sickness. Thank you Santa!
Insert name here
Well kids, I sure hope that helps get Santa’s attention and you get what you want this Christmas. If it doesn’t, don’t blame me. Just remember you could have been a bit better. After all, you did pick a few fights, you did tattle on someone, and you did spit on the sidewalk. How do I know all this? Been there, done that. Well, some of it.
And one other thing, have you tried to be less selfish? I mean really tried? That’s what I thought. Well try. And a good way to start would be to begin planning what to leave out for Santa to eat when he visits your house. We’ll talk some more, for now just get to bed and don’t bother your brother or sister. I mean it. Santa’s watching.
Or, you could ask for this:
That one or two of your gifts be given to someone else. They can be dropped off at Toys for Tots, CHiPS for Kids, Goodwill, Second Chance Toys, Room to Grow or check out Donation Town that can help with information.